Live the life you love & love the life you live

I think 2012 has been a fast, full and often frustrating year; almost everyone I communicate with, including me, has bemoaned the fact that although they're sure they're still doing the same amount of stuff, there just doesn't seem to be the same amount of time to do stuff in. Maybe it's because our super fast technology allows us to do more things, instantly, or because the universe is speeding up as it expands, or just that time feels relatively shorter as we get older... Regardless, I believe it's so important to take aside some of that precious time to step out of the manic rush of the day and check whether you're controlling your life, or if it's controlling you!

If we go through life using up most of our time on those things that sap energy without replenishing it, naturally we'll gradually have less and less energy to do anything, and end up feeling like we're not going anywhere, just treading water, barely keeping ourselves afloat. Often the first things that get dropped are really the important things, and, ironically, they are often the things that will actually replenish energy as well, such as spending time with family and friends, doing things we are passionate about, and generally having fun. Instead we spend more time working (or staring vacantly at our screens because we're too tired to focus on work) and doing the minimum just to get through the day.

Judi Dench's character, Evelyn, says in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: "Most things don’t work out as expected, but what happens instead often turns out to be the good stuff." I couldn't agree more. I recently had a total meltdown, which turned out to be a really good thing. Staring vacantly at the TV screen after collapsing exhausted on the couch one evening, I suddenly had a feeling of me as an old woman, near the end of my life, and not having done anything I really wanted to do. Because it was more of a feeling than a thought, it was pretty intense, and shook me enough to start thinking about what I really wanted to do: spend time with family and friends, create photographs, have fun and generally enjoy living. And what had I been doing instead? Working long hours but without valuing my efforts, lying awake at night bothered by a brain as frizzy and uncontrollable as my hair, and not much else. That was the start of the turning point. Over the following weeks, my rather stubborn mind gradually allowed the realisation to settle in that it was entirely possible and perfectly okay for me to start doing what I do wanted to do: have a break to recoup my energy and shift my work focus to my passion: photography.

Doing things we enjoy energises us. Conversely, the act of not doing things we enjoy actually saps our energy (on top of the energy required for whatever it is that is preventing us from doing what we want). Wedding photography, for example, is extremely stressful, yet I enjoy the possibility of creating really wonderful images so much that the enjoyment aspect outweighs the stress aspect. On the other hand, building a website while wishing I could process some photos instead, is really draining - and at the end of the day, when I promised myself I could process photos, I'm too tired of sitting at the computer.

So often it is just our perception that things "need" to be done. Granted, there are some essentials, but how much of what you don't enjoy really can't be changed? Like I always say, everything always works out!*, and it really seems that when you're moving in the right direction, the universe gives you a hand. Asoon as I resolved to change my work focus from graphic design to photography, things started falling into place: a few design clients contacted me to ask if they could postpone projects until the new year as they were just too busy with backlog (sound familiar?), while the rest of my design jobs were at a stage where they could be outsourced. My hectic schedule started clearing up, and soon I found that although I still had no "free" time (there is actually no such thing), I was doing more and more of the things I wanted to do. Photographic projects that had been delayed for so long shifted into the gap (along with the calendar), I took three weekends off in a row after viewing them previously merely as bonus time to catch up on work, and I spent quality time with some friends, family, and my amazing boyfriend, who's somehow had the strength to stick with me and provide support, even when I didn't particularly want to stick with me!

Things take time, but they also take energy. Both are limited, but one is replenishable. Take time to replenish your energy, and you'll find you have more time... At least I think so!

My wonderful sister and delightful nephew, feeling sleepy and cuddly after a nap.

*Dev Patel as Sonny in the The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel completed my mantra when he said “Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right then it's not the end.” If you haven't seen the movie yet, do!